The Victim

"Evil requires the sanction of the victim. " Ayn Rand

Everyone knows this person. It is the person who always seems to get screwed over. The one who always has the bad luck. The girlfriend that always gets cheated on. The guy who always gets passed over for promotion or who's wife is raking him over the coals in a divorce.

This person is what I call The Victim. The occasional bad deal comes for everyone just by random chance, but this person seems to be a magnet for it. Why do you think that these people are just so cursed?

In my opinion, there is a very logical reason for it. Mathematically speaking it is impossible, due to the Law of Averages, for a person to continuously get a bad deal unless that person is constantly changing his/her situation. That is, consciously or subconsciously, they are making themselves a larger target. The only way The Victim continues to get screwed over and over is because they want it to be that way.

The Victim fails to acknowledge a cardinal rule in the pursuit of happiness:
People will treat you as good or bad as you allow them to treat you.

Sympathy is a drug that some people must have to function, so they keep themselves in an unhappy situation to keep that drug coming. How many times has The Victim come to you crying about their situation, only to take no actions to change it, or returning to that situation several times expecting a different result? It is the enabling behavior of the friends and family that allow The Victim to destroy themselves.

The collateral damage caused by this enabling behavior for The Victim is the negative impact on your life. Time, money, and overall mental health is wasted on The Victim, because as long as you give them sympathy, they will continue to draw you into their web of despair. A contributing factor is if The Victim is a family member, and you feel obligated to continue trying to help them because they are your relative.

In my opinion, the best way to handle The Victim is the same way you would treat an alcoholic or drug abuser. You offer a solution to their problem. If they do not accept the solution, then you have to remain closed as a resource to them. You don't give drugs to an addict to ease their pain. It is the same with The Victim.

The worst thing about The Victim is that their unhappiness is contagious. Misery loves company, and The Victim will eventually draw you into their misery and negativity. Stay objective, and maintain a good assessment of what makes sense, and The Victim will remain powerless in your pursuit of happiness.