Fear

"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."

Bene Gesserit Litany

An appropriate Halloween topic. Fear is one of the main limiting factors in our ongoing pursuit of happiness. The reason fear is so crippling is that it is almost universal in its application. People are afraid of everything and anything, and every fear is different. I will just give some examples of situations where fear directly contributes to the detriment of a person seeking personal happiness.

Fear of failure
Fear of success
Fear of the unknown
Fear of what others will think
Fear of embarrassment
Fear of intimacy

These fears are not natural. These are learned fears, embedded in you by all the people in your life, starting with your parents. Your friends and peers solidify these fears and make them part of your personality, because you end up grouping yourself with people who carry the same fears. Unlearning these fears can be one of the hardest things to do as an adult, and requires courage that is not part of a normal personality pattern.

This courage is the ability to honestly say, “I don’t care.” If you don’t care what the consequences of your actions are, because you feel that the actions were preceded by good planning and judgment, and because you trust your decisions and judgment, you will have nothing to fear at all.

People will always judge you in anything that you do in your life. If their opinion is irrelevant and unimportant because it is below your personal decisions, then their judgment is rendered powerless. You will never be embarrassed or ashamed again. You will never care what others think of you because you are exactly who you want to be, not what they expect you to be.

This clarity of self will also allow you to choose your mate more wisely, because you will never have to try to be someone you aren’t to please a potential mate. Honesty is the root of all good intimate relationships, and this starts with your own personal honesty with yourself.

If you control your own world by projecting your personal power outward, instead of accepting what the world gives you, all of your fears will fall by the wayside. The path to happiness is paved with the strength of self, and your good relationships with those around you. You cannot take this path with fear blocking your progress.